10 on 10 :: August :: 2014

Jeff bought a truck...a big one. And Wes got a hair cut.  And Jeff began converting our garage into a gym. August also included a Gough family vacation to Whidbey and a road trip across country with my best friend.

A Fear Realized

I was so looking forward to sharing this photo...with surprise and excitement and joy! And when I went over to view our family photos (which I love) I cringed a little when I saw this picture...because this week, when I should be nearly 11 weeks pregnant and anticipating sharing our news "officially," this week, we lost our baby and I experienced having a miscarriage.  I pray and hope that Elliot will indeed be a big sister someday, and with that sweet little one that we won't meet this April up in Heaven, I believe she already is...but we now find ourselves on another faith journey and we find ourselves surprised in the midst of grief by hope and love.

When I started having bleeding last Tuesday I got a pit in my stomach, I feared the worst, in fact, I almost felt prepared for it. In my experience, especially surrounding fertility, I have found that The Lord has given me foresight into the plan he has for me.  With Wes some part of me knew that I would have a c-section, with Elliot I had always felt like I would struggle with infertility as a way to draw closer to God, and even before I got pregnant with our #3 I felt like my next pregnancy would end in miscarriage...I certainly never wanted to speak this aloud and give it power and once I found out I was pregnant I prayed it wouldn't be true...but my fear has been realized and in many ways overcome because I trust God, I know he is good and I know that he will use this for his purposes.

I have been convicted off and on since having Wes that I missed my calling as a nurse, specifically in labor and delivery.  This year it has been heavy on my heart and I can see how The Lord has been preparing me through my personal experiences to work with women, to comfort them the way that He has comforted me.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5
  3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. 

I wrote the above 2 weeks ago now...I took more time to process and in the middle of my sadness and feeling that I might bounce back faster than I expected I was hit with one of the worst seasons of illness I've had in a very long time.  Strep throat that turned into something more with my eyes and gums and then was followed up by a random cold virus that Wes picked up from school.  It has been brutal.  And it's forced me to spend my days being instead of doing.  Frankly, I'm still not all the way well...pray for me! My one birthday wish (my birthday is Friday) is that I can move forward into this new year with a renewed body and spirit!

Before I got sick I was struck with a deeper understanding of why people wore sack cloth and ashes in times of mourning.  As I put on make-up and dressed for the day I realized no one knew what was going on inside my head, inside my body.  I wanted a physical expression of my grief and perhaps that's what The Lord gave me by letting me get so sick.  Along with the reminder that so many others are hurting and we may never realize it.  God's using this already!

I don't know how to wrap up this post.  We wanted that baby, here.  But we are still hopeful about our future, trying to cherish what we've been given now and thanking God for the mercies he showed us during this trial.

Jeremiah 29:11
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

10 on 10 :: July 2014

We had a Seckel summer...or dare I say Gouckel one (our unique IG hashtag). I am so very grateful for mops and the friendships it has brought me and Katrina is a special one! I just wish she still lived here so we could share more life together. But I'll take what I can get!

10 on 10 :: June :: 2014

This 10th of June found me 2 photos short...red food coloring on the couch, a broken bowl, a husband with the stomach bug...the day didn't start out well!  But Meme came to save the day and I was able to run errands for a Bible Study that I'm facilitating at my church that began this week.  I was so thankful that I prepared during this time...cause I caught the stomach bug the next day and it threatened to have me down for the count.  But a timely playdate for Wes and 3.5 hour naps for me and Elliot was just what my body needed to recover- talk about a blessing!  The weather has been amazing in Seattle but as I type this it drizzles outside (my garden is thankful) and I'm hoping it holds off this evening as we head over to Wesley's school (next year he starts Kindergarten) for a carnival- hooray!  Despite being sick this week I ran a 5k the morning at the gym, PR time (not that I'll mention it hear cause it's still abysmal) and I'm feeling pretty good about that!

Time to get in gear for this whole "summer vacation thing"- thinking of making a summer bucket list and looking for some ideas!

-Taco Tuesdays
-Renton water park
-Backyard campout
-Lego Movie end of preschool party
-Family bike ride
-Discovery Park picnic
-Water balloon fight
-Homemade ice cream & popsicles
-Trip to Chelan or Suncadia
-Watermelon smoothie dispenser
-Go berry picking
-Play a lawn game (ladder ball?)

That's all for now!

10 on 10 :: May :: 2014

Monthly update as seen through the snapshots from our day...Jeff is still clipping his own hair.  I've started a new weight lifting regime with Jeffy on Saturdays.  I'm trying to improve my max deadlift, clean, bench and squat...it's actually kind of fun. We are starting to "hike" or at the very least explore our Seattle parks and greenbelts. My garden this year has snap peas, tomatoes, a ton of strawberries, the beginnings of asparagus, rhubarb, collard greens, carrots, beets, zucchini and pumpkin.  Note to self- you should probably do something to increase the nutrients in the soil.  Jeff and the kids got me and outdoor fire pit for mother's day...I've been wanting one for years.  It takes our outdoor game to a whole new level and is the perfect reason to invite our friends and neighbors over for s'mores!   And the last photo is a poppy that I didn't plant, proving that beautiful things can sprout where you least expect them and with very little work- life's pleasant surprises!  And that's my 10 on 10!

13-15-18

 {13 months}

 {15 months}

{18 months}

This little girl started walking at 11 months and has been running ever since...wow, I don't remember Wes being so capable or daring or strong willed at this age.

She is ALL personality!

And she talks...like non-stop...and sings! This little sweetie started singing "let it go" from Frozen, even before she saw the show (it's just that catchy).  Her other favorites are "up" (itsy bitsy spider), "now I know" (ABCs), "up above" (twinkle twinkle little star).

I was trying to think about all her words and I think there's too many to count.  She says most names, including her own, the only hiccup is that she calls all her cousins Levi (soft spot).  She knows animal sounds and especially loves cats & dogs.  

 She's efficient having single words with many uses "bobble" means bottle, bubble, and Barlow. "Beebee" means baby, binkie and blankie.  And I hope I never forget that when you tell her to say thank you she now says "welcome" :)

She has finally given up the beloved bottle and is now a sippy cup girl (which she still calls "bopple").  She constantly wants "foo foo" (food) and a few months ago when she asked to go in her "high chair" and I told her no she replied with "oh man"- I mean seriously, why is she already a toddler?

She has never liked the car and continues to be a...headache.  I'm hoping that changes soon!  The only time I know she's not going to give us grief is when I have an endless supply of treats or she's making her humming noise that means she's about to fall asleep.

She's turned into a really great sleeper, going to bed easily with no real bedtime routine and sleeping reliably 12+ hours.  Last night she couldn't fall asleep on her own and when I went in to hold her all she wanted to do was smooch...like over and over and I just snuggled her close and kissed her and we stared in each others eyes and giggled.

Oh man I love this little Daddy's girl...she squeals when she sees him!

I know I've missed months of photos in this chair and tons of things about the everyday gems that are Elliot but I hope I've been able to capture a snapshot of this truly awesome and sometimes trying stage.

1-2-3
4-5-6
7-8-9
10-11-12
 

10 on 10 :: April :: 2014

missed quite a few this month...